Zen

So, in conversation with Mistress last night, I asked about the partner or sub or pet or toy thing, and she replied, well which one do you want to be, pet or toy?  I am pretty sure she was joking, but other than that, she said I had to be zen about that at the moment, and anyways, I have clearly said that I will be whatever she needs me to be.  Which is certainly true.

She also said that reading my last couple of journal entries, that it is good that I am coming back to some sort of common sense, and that when I get there, I will help, just by being there, and that she needs me to be strong for her.

Submitting, sacrificing, compromising as much as I have already, and what looks to be more of that on the horizon, I am feeling more an extension of Mistress than my own person.  Which is good, in a way.  And scary, in other ways.  Is this what becoming property feels like, because it certainly feels like I have gone past 'general' submissiveness.

Bites lip.

Calming exercises.

Zen.