Countdown

Yes, so it is to the stage of counting days until I fly There, and counting hours of how long to go at work.  Which is nice.  The motivation to put anything more of myself into my job, on top of what I already have done the past seven years, meh.  Not quite to the point of not doing any work at all, but I feel I am about to crack down to that level any day now.  And I have about three times as much sick leave as I have hours left to work.  I really mistimed that aspect of things, didn't I?

Oh, I remember what I was going to mention this morning - one of my mates last night was saying if it was her, she would be sending her resume all over the place over There from this point on.  I guess I have been a bit slack with that, but I was analysing the situation a bit, and talked to Mistress about it today.  The reason I am not applying for jobs is that I am 'this close' to feeling overwhelmed.  I mean seriously, with how I was two or three weeks ago, stressing about the relationship, stressing about moving, stressing about Sir, the thing is, I could send off twenty job applications a day right now.  But because I am trying to de-stress as much as I can, I am avoiding putting pressure on myself, avoiding overthinking, which, to be brutally honest, a good job application requires.  It requires a lot of thought, a lot of planning.  When all I am hoping to do is to get my butt over There in one piece.

Hopefully the above didn't sound too negative.  I just have a thousand thoughts swirling around my head at the moment, and when I get There, I will be able to focus on jobs for a good portion of the day.  I won't have all the Here stuff to think about, aside from keeping my friends on this side of the country updated with semi regular facebook updates perhaps.

Today, I think I spent more brain power planning the leaving functions with friends and workmates, more so than I used brain cells on work.  I mean, I did a good amount of work, it was just the concentration levels were on other things.  And I can just see my concentration levels flatlining on the work side of things even more so in the days and weeks ahead lol.  What a shame.

One of my friends, who knows the Mistress and I dynamic, is having relationship issues.  She is getting regular sex and all, but she isn't sure whether the guy actually thinks of her as anything more than a fuckbuddy.  I was feeling maudlin at the particular moment we were having this conversation, and I think I said something along the lines of yes, I'm never quite sure where Mistress and I are either.  Friend begged to disagree with my assessment.  Mistress reciprocates my love for her, and is quite open about that fact.  Or so friend seems to have observed.

And I went away from the conversation thinking, yes, Mistress does reciprocate my love for her.  Very strongly.  She may not write it in ten foot letters across the world wide web, but for those who need to know, they do know.  Or is that overthinking on my part again?

Everything is going to be alright.  Mistress wants and needs me.  She will get me.  Very very shortly.