I have a headache, and I am tired, but I need to post. It was quite the busy four day weekend, and I was tired a lot of it, so that is why I didn't write anything the past couple of days. Plus there has been a lot going on, while at the same time it has seemed as though there isn't.
But, I have a bit to write, so let's get into it. I guess the main thing about the weekend was that I was trying to get enthusiastic for packing and moving and everything, it didn't happen, and thus I felt guilty and a bit headless chicken and therefore if I had blogged, then I would have been distracting myself more than I needed to in the first place and would have felt more guilty about the lack of enthusiasm for packing. Wow, that was rather a long sentence wasn't it. LOL but it gives a good example of how I was trying to wind myself up more and more about the move, and it just didn't end up happening.
By this morning, when the parents came with the moving truck to help me out, I think I had managed to sort out about 92% of my flat, but I was just catatonic about fixing up the other 8%. And, with my parents being old hands at moving - in the past ten years alone, they have had seven homes, or is it eight? Anyways, with them being expert at moving, I felt guilty not having that enthusiasm for it, and was worried I would get the motherly glare about not completing the work to expectations. Yes, I know, I have a million different neuroses LOL. But she was happy enough with what I had done, thank goodness.
As I think I have said before, I have a great relationship with my parents, my own expectations of what they think of me though is usually where I trip myself up with them. So yes, I have moved in with the parents for the time being, until I am over There. When we were heading up to the New Here from the Old Here, I said to Mum that I was homeless - she returned with the quip that it is called In Transit. The commute to work from parentals is going to be more a killer than my old apartment, but it is only for eight days, so I am sure I can cope.
Had a great weekend other than stressing about moving. Saturday night I went to a birthday party with kinksters. I think I had mentioned last week that one of the girls had checked to see whether I was coming by email, with the opening line 'hello handsome' lol. I wasn't in a party mood on the way, and I love having to public transport to suburbs I previously didn't know existed, down driveways so long and so dark that it would be the perfect place for a murder, but once I got there, and once I had started catching up with people that I knew, then I got into the party mood.
Especially when I have friends who don't mind me checking out their corset-enhanced cleavage lol. Or seem glad to see me for me - when I was stuck in the rut of going out with workmates for what seems an eternity now, the vibe I got a lot of the time was that they weren't really happy to see me, if that makes sense? The kink crowd I have met are far more welcoming, or maybe it is just that I am far more happy and confident and all the rest. Or a little of column A and column B combined.
And also the fact that at the club I went to last month, it was all about putting on a show or whatever. At this private residence, it was just friends catching up with other friends. Without any sense of judgement about whatever anyone wore - or rather, didn't wear. And also a difference, feeling that the club was a bit blase, at Saturday's party, watching a couple of the girls squirm under a bit of knife and edge play was quite awesome. Squirming can be very sensual. So yes, had a lovely time, had quite a few lovely conversations with different people, and got a load of hugs and we will miss you when you head There's when I left. Well, apart from the girl who was blissing out under the knife at the time, she wasn't anywhere in this galaxy when I tried to say goodbye to her, I said to her Dom to say goodbye to her when she came down. LOL she sent me an email the next day seemingly feeling guilty about not being lucid when I left.
It is interesting, actually. There are a few Masters or Doms that I feel quite happy and relaxed talking to, yet others I fear to catch the attention of, lest I get noticed for something and then whatever their attention will mean will likely hurt. I guess with the ones I am chatty with, I feel they see me as a human first and a sub second - the ones I am nervous around, I feel like a bug. If that doesn't sound too harsh.
Have gotten a couple of messages the last couple of days, saying that one of the girls is sad because she has only just met me and we get on so well and I am already leaving - the 'hello handsome' girl sent me another message saying it always seemed that the nice ones seemed to move interstate. Which has given my confidence another boost. I will be back from time to time people, my parents are here, so it's not as if I am going to take a Scorched Earth policy to visiting Here ever again.
Then yesterday, caught up with some mates at the lawn bowls club. Played two hours of bowls, and then proceeded to drink the afternoon away (procrastinating away from the moving boxes at home again), and ended up at a chicken restaurant place (no, not KFC), when instead we were hoping for cafe or Thai or Italian food, but being a Sunday, all those stores were either closed or were going to open later in the evening. Sunday beers are always good, and next Sunday will have another 'function' with hopefully all my closest mates from Here to say goodbye and such. Good cafe food, and then hopefully cheapish beers lol.
Oh, and I sent off my draft bucket list to my couple friends who are going to kidnap me next week. And also let Mistress in on what I would like to get up to. Which I believe she has filed away for either her or Sir to use as and when appropriate hehehe.
Mistress and Sir had a busy, stressful weekend. Still haven't heard what the specifics of Sir's domestic-to-him issues are, but from what I heard, the phrase I had picked the worst possible time to call on Saturday morning before he handed me over to Mistress, not promising.
Was talking to Mistress today, and she sounds much happier and with it than she has in the past month or so. She was in the mood to go to her work and sort out the shit there, though maybe tomorrow rather than actually today, but that is still uber positive compared to how things have been lately.
And...
She is getting excited at the thought of me getting over there. Very very soon. She says that Sir is getting excited as well, but I am sure Mistress is more bubbly about it than he is. There is a difference between anticipation and excitement, isn't there? Or is that just me?
It was scary leaving my unit, the comfort, the safety of it, after three and a half years, but looking at the other side of the coin, it is another step on the way to achieving the goal of being with her. I am kinda sorta disappointed that it looks like Mistress won't be the one to take various of my cherries with my obliging couple next week getting first dibs, but, as Mistress said, there are plenty of other things she can think up for her to do with me first.
She could break me, and I would still feel safe with her. If that makes sense.
Oh, that's what else I was going to write about - especially with me being truly madly deeply subby as I am around her. I read an interesting article about sub frenzy the other day, and no, I don't have the link directly to hand at the moment, but I can track it down if anyone is interested, and it basically said as well as the whole wanting to try everything and burn out your subbyness as quickly as humanly possible, another definition of sub frenzy could be the whole newbie thinking that the first Dom you ever find is going to be the One True Dom of your entire life, that you think he or she is perfect, and that you are meant for each other as well blah blah blah.
I believe I have been relatively circumspect with the throwing myself into Everything type of sub frenzy, but as for the One True Dom side of things, well, Mistress knows how deeply I have fallen for her. Well, I think she knows. But as far as I am concerned, and this may be splitting hairs, it may not be, I know that it could fall apart, I know it will take a lot of work between all three of us to make things work the way they very well could, and the falling I have done is more related to the relationship - that word again - rather than the D/s dynamic in and of itself.
Now, to figure out the train timetables from Woop Woop Land, and to look at getting some sleep soonish.
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