Went and saw The Proposition yesterday. Good movie, in a 'no one has a happy ending' kind of movie way - those type can sometimes be good. No, not in the same league as Hotel Rwanda, and not really a Western, although a similar mind set that nothing ever good comes out of guns to that of Unforgiven. Ray Winstone is the stand out actor in the movie, blows everyone else away, apart from perhaps Emily Watson, although she doesn't really do much in the movie.
Bought the EA game NHL 2005 from the computer games store, being from last year's season, which didn't actually get off the ground, it was on sale - so no doubt I will be distracted a fair bit the next week or so by the new shiney game, until, like a magpie, I toss it aside for the next shiney new game. Should really get an XBox or PS2, or maybe even PS3, so that I can keep my games seperate to the computer LOL - and real joysticks or gamepads would be a good thing as well, rather than ruining my wrists on the keyboard...
I was feeling ill at work today, up until about lunchtime or so. Funny thing was though, that with my lunch breaks this week being at 2pm, I bought a sandwich at morning tea and ate it around 12ish. So it wasn't the settling factor of food that made me feel better - was one of those faint headed things, coupled with unsettled stomach whatevers that happen to me from time to time. But I came right after 2ish, so another daily battle against my 'wannabe at home' thoughts won.
I really want to lose weight at the moment. Well, I have wanted to lose weight for hmm years - up until I was twenty or so, I weighed 49 kilos (about 120 pounds if I have my conversions right). Then I went overseas, lived there, found Wendy's burgers, YUM, and somehow, suddenly, over the course of three or four years, found myself a lot heavier.
Yes, I know at 49 kilos, I was a bit underweight, and I don't think I would want to go back there, but maybe something in the 55 to 65 kg range? The lighter the better of course. In the movie yesterday, there is a scene where Guy Pearce is breathing and it shows his ribcage - I wouldn't mind that kind of thing happening to me.
I try to eat less, or diet, at least once a month LOL. It hardly ever works out, but I am trying again, it is not so much the eating that is the problem, but instead my willpower. If I can focus on not eating, surely I will lose weight that way? Therefore, I am trying the piece of toast at breakfast, one sandwich at lunchtime diet. Maybe that was why I was feeling a bit lethargic at work today, perhaps maybe perhaps. With no snacking LOL. Or at least, that is the idea.
I think I want to put together some 30th birthday resolutions together, and going to the gym is one of them. I'm also kind of wondering where all these changing myself ideas are coming from, what with the new hairstyle and the weight and the should it stay or should it go goatie or the challenge to my own willpower thing, am I going through a quarter life crisis - well, err perhaps more a two fifths life crisis LOL.
I'm trying to pinpoint it, and I don't hate myself any more than the 'background noise' has been the last few years. I'm reasonably happy with the way things are panning out currently - my self esteem is there or thereabouts.
Hmm, something to ponder - maybe I just want to give myself problems - I wouldn't put that sort of self sabotage past myself. Grr, stupid self sabotage... although a good Beastie Boys song.
Let's give 'em something to talk about indeed...
Heavy heart here
Pauly
Bought the EA game NHL 2005 from the computer games store, being from last year's season, which didn't actually get off the ground, it was on sale - so no doubt I will be distracted a fair bit the next week or so by the new shiney game, until, like a magpie, I toss it aside for the next shiney new game. Should really get an XBox or PS2, or maybe even PS3, so that I can keep my games seperate to the computer LOL - and real joysticks or gamepads would be a good thing as well, rather than ruining my wrists on the keyboard...
I was feeling ill at work today, up until about lunchtime or so. Funny thing was though, that with my lunch breaks this week being at 2pm, I bought a sandwich at morning tea and ate it around 12ish. So it wasn't the settling factor of food that made me feel better - was one of those faint headed things, coupled with unsettled stomach whatevers that happen to me from time to time. But I came right after 2ish, so another daily battle against my 'wannabe at home' thoughts won.
I really want to lose weight at the moment. Well, I have wanted to lose weight for hmm years - up until I was twenty or so, I weighed 49 kilos (about 120 pounds if I have my conversions right). Then I went overseas, lived there, found Wendy's burgers, YUM, and somehow, suddenly, over the course of three or four years, found myself a lot heavier.
Yes, I know at 49 kilos, I was a bit underweight, and I don't think I would want to go back there, but maybe something in the 55 to 65 kg range? The lighter the better of course. In the movie yesterday, there is a scene where Guy Pearce is breathing and it shows his ribcage - I wouldn't mind that kind of thing happening to me.
I try to eat less, or diet, at least once a month LOL. It hardly ever works out, but I am trying again, it is not so much the eating that is the problem, but instead my willpower. If I can focus on not eating, surely I will lose weight that way? Therefore, I am trying the piece of toast at breakfast, one sandwich at lunchtime diet. Maybe that was why I was feeling a bit lethargic at work today, perhaps maybe perhaps. With no snacking LOL. Or at least, that is the idea.
I think I want to put together some 30th birthday resolutions together, and going to the gym is one of them. I'm also kind of wondering where all these changing myself ideas are coming from, what with the new hairstyle and the weight and the should it stay or should it go goatie or the challenge to my own willpower thing, am I going through a quarter life crisis - well, err perhaps more a two fifths life crisis LOL.
I'm trying to pinpoint it, and I don't hate myself any more than the 'background noise' has been the last few years. I'm reasonably happy with the way things are panning out currently - my self esteem is there or thereabouts.
Hmm, something to ponder - maybe I just want to give myself problems - I wouldn't put that sort of self sabotage past myself. Grr, stupid self sabotage... although a good Beastie Boys song.
Let's give 'em something to talk about indeed...
Heavy heart here
Pauly
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