Daily Dose

Seeing as I was awake until 1.15 last night, I didn't get much sleep.  Even when I did wake up this morning, I was thinking of ringing in sick - for no defineable reason apart from that I was being lazy.  I wasn't actually sick.  Then screwing up my right contact lens, so that my right eyed vision was kinda sorta blurry all day, and the lens itself wasn't fully on my eye, therefore being irritable as well as blurry.  Always a lot of fun when that happens.

My sense of not wanting to go to work was so strong in fact, that I was halfway to the train station from home, and still feeling undecided about it all.  And, being several hours before the pay direct debited to my bank, I was down to my last $3.81, with my credit card being maxed out.  Leading to the sense that once I was at work, I couldn't afford to come home as my public transport card was wiped as well.  I skipped breakfast, and then tried to work on no food for as long as I could.  What with the contact lens giving me a headache, and the bottle or so of wine I consumed last night, and feeling a tad faint as well, it wasn't the greatest of mornings.

About half an hour before my lunch break, I buckled and asked for a five dollar loan from one of my workmates.  Which she happily gave.  Basically then scoffed enough food over lunch - which I took early, I couldn't last any longer without food - that by the end of it I had 76c in my account.

Cue the checking online banking every fifteen minutes until it landed, about 4.30pm or so.  Yes, I do cut it fine at times.  Understatement.

On other fronts, I booked my doctor's appointment tomorrow, to refill that prescription I had let slide.  That made me happy because I was following the explicit Orders given by Mistress.  She replied to one of my emails that she was always proud of me, which always always warms my heart.  In all my previous relationships, I have never been cared for as much as I have in this one.

I got an email, I assumed from my last significant ex, wondering whether I was procrastinating getting back to her with the full and final break up email.  It was like a red flag to me, because almost as soon as I had read it, I was moaning to Mistress, while at the same time confirming I wasn't going to go against the Order about the ex.  When I double checked it later, I realised it was from my mother, rather than the ex.  Awkward, much?

Friend of mine is suggesting I should go see a counsellor about what I am throwing myself into over There.  I said a counsellor would only be a reasonable idea if I was still not sure about flying over.  I have plenty of concerns about what might happen when I get over, but as for the actual getting there, what did Thatcher say, the lady's not for turning?  As I quickly go google that phrase haha - yep yep, it was Thatcher.  If I talked to a counsellor or something now, all they could practically do is talk me out of it.  And as it that is going to happen. 

There are only two people who can talk me out of the plan at this stage, and from all I have been advised, Sir and Mistress do want me there.  Despite the various random doubts I threw out in an earlier post.

The friend said all she was suggesting was to give a neutral viewpoint on what is happening.  To be honest, I think I have a dozen neutral-ish points of view from various friends already.  I don't need a professional seal of approval for what I am doing, as little as I need a 'here be dragons' warning either.

Anyways, apart from chatting with online friends this evening, that is about all that has happened of any sort of importance today.  I will bid you adieu for now.