Madhouse

Three days in, and sometimes I wonder what I have let myself in for with this.

Sir withdrew completely into himself earlier today, and took Mistress 90% of the way with him.  I was left by myself for a period of time, and all I could do was bite my lip hard, and say over and over in my head that this will work out, they will not abandon me, they will not cut me adrift.  After all the sacrifices and compromises I have already made.

The sense of trauma I sensed was akin to how a New York friend of mine, who used to work at the World Trade Center in the 90s, felt when we visited Ground Zero.  Yeah, that intense.  Or either I'm not around all that much trauma, which may be an equally valid case.

And then, when they came out of their own little space, it appeared that Sir and Mistress had a disagreement in there, that, amongst other things, brought my stress headache roaring back.  It had actually disappeared this morning.

And suddenly I realise why they don't want friends and acquaintances to read this.  Even though I write from my viewpoint, and try to blot out as many details of the other two as I can, I am sometimes brutally honest about how I feel about things.

Mistress said yesterday that I still have to remain brave about this journey, even though I have made it this far, and in some senses, want to collapse into a puddle.  It is unlikely to be an easy road, for any of the three of us, for differing reasons.

Onward and upward.  I will continue to do MY best, for both the others in this situation.