Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Day Zero

I was almost in tears this morning, about the thought of going to work.  For no particular reason, either. 

The last couple of weeks have hit me like a brick.  Have realised how fucking depressed I am, and have been proactive with getting medication and referral to new shrink.  Ah, sweet, sweet Lexapro lol.  Which in itself has hit me for six.  On the therapy side, got the referral last Monday, and got in to see new shrink on Friday, which is hella fast in my experience of these things.  And she seems nice enough, nothing jarred during the session. 

And I'm kinda sorta isolating myself from my friends, even the close ones.  Haven't seen Roma for three weeks, and she indicated quickly by text what she's going through at the moment, so in the big scheme of things, my anxiety isn't as important as her stuff. 

Funnily enough, it's been Casablanca who has been the most supportive, the most helpful, the most understanding about it all.  While she is going through a massive amount of her own stuff. 

I'm just second guessing myself a lot recently. Wondering whether I've made the right decisions in various aspects of my life. Wondering whether the things set in stone are just examples of my stubbornness. 

It's all in flux.  Can someone please just tell me that it's going to be all right, before I get overwhelmed and do something stupid? 

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