Numb or anxious. Those are the two settings in me at the moment. There is no in between, there is very little emotion in me besides these two. One kinda sorta positive though, when I am at work it settles me into the routine of the actual data processing.
But away from work I don't feel I have any purpose or goals or anything. Dammit, this blog was not meant to be another descent into anxiety and depression, but you can never predict how these things are going to evolve, and after the break of the last few weeks, I do want to get into this daily again. Even if the subjects are somewhat painful.
I will get better. I always do. But hurting at this level of whatever this is, is always ultra awful.
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