A bit of time, when I'm not too tired, which has been bugger all in the evenings this week - also sweet eff eh in the mornings, daytimes, nights. Has been a totally exhausting week. Looking forward to beer o'clock tomorrow, celebrating/commiserating KSM leaving the job - off to do university stuff for four years, good luck and all that...
Monday and Tuesday, if you got the idea in the previous couple of entries, were horrendous. Too much holiday leave, too much sick leave, us suckers who are healthy and not holidaying got it in the neck, like a guillotine. Horrid horrid horrid. I have had annoying days at the job before, but seriously, Tuesday and yesterday I just did not want to be there. But the last couple of days, the care factor I almost always have at work has been scorched off big time - the meh, whatever school of thought, of the if/when it ever happens teachings...
Have had a good couple of chats to the boss the last couple of days - one was my annual performance review, the other was just a general err whinge session. Less said about the whinge session the better - apart from the fact that I have dispensation to try and do my work differently, hopefully more efficiently, having to retrain my brain in how to do things - but onto the performance review.
In a sentence, I am my own worse critic in there, but the boss loves me. No not in the sexual harrassment way, in the she thinks I am the hardest worker and indispensible to her team sense. And of course I can only look at the ways I am failing at the job. One good thing I do at the job is make up useless sentences full of long words that sound good in a review setting though LOL.
Was thinking of my long experiences in office jobs, and thinking back to my first one, how eager I was to join every staff improvement committee, how I volunteered to be deputy team leader - when I was all of about twenty. Ten years later, just too much cynicism and office politics has taken the edge off enthusiasm for it all - or maybe it is just that I read too many Dilbert cartoons, and the point where they were no longer just funny, but wow man that is soooo true to life blah blah, maybe that's when I lost my spark.
Or maybe if I shifted to a job which isn't so stats driven, I may find enthusiasm for team stuff and improvement again. Just sometimes feel it's been ten years of going through the motions - too many committees against sexual harrassment, discrimination, or striving for continual improvement - it's too easy to fall into the 'oh great one of these courses I can switch off my brain' mindset.
In my case, if it is common sense and I follow it, as much as possible in my real life, eh, I don't know what I am trying to say here, just would be nice to not be cynical for once - my latter year Gen Xness is shouting at me to stop thinking, quite happy cynical thank you very much...
Beer o'clock tomorrow though - big decision of the night is whether to wake up at 5am tomorrow to see Australia v Croatia in the football. Have been a bit slack with my final group game watching, although I did catch the first half of Portugal Mexico last night, good game - damn not scheduling my leave appropriately LOL - have a friend back home in Wellington who every World Cup takes that month off so he doesn't have the distraction of work to contend with at all. Total football indeed :)
More tomorrow, or perhaps Saturday
Pauly
Monday and Tuesday, if you got the idea in the previous couple of entries, were horrendous. Too much holiday leave, too much sick leave, us suckers who are healthy and not holidaying got it in the neck, like a guillotine. Horrid horrid horrid. I have had annoying days at the job before, but seriously, Tuesday and yesterday I just did not want to be there. But the last couple of days, the care factor I almost always have at work has been scorched off big time - the meh, whatever school of thought, of the if/when it ever happens teachings...
Have had a good couple of chats to the boss the last couple of days - one was my annual performance review, the other was just a general err whinge session. Less said about the whinge session the better - apart from the fact that I have dispensation to try and do my work differently, hopefully more efficiently, having to retrain my brain in how to do things - but onto the performance review.
In a sentence, I am my own worse critic in there, but the boss loves me. No not in the sexual harrassment way, in the she thinks I am the hardest worker and indispensible to her team sense. And of course I can only look at the ways I am failing at the job. One good thing I do at the job is make up useless sentences full of long words that sound good in a review setting though LOL.
Was thinking of my long experiences in office jobs, and thinking back to my first one, how eager I was to join every staff improvement committee, how I volunteered to be deputy team leader - when I was all of about twenty. Ten years later, just too much cynicism and office politics has taken the edge off enthusiasm for it all - or maybe it is just that I read too many Dilbert cartoons, and the point where they were no longer just funny, but wow man that is soooo true to life blah blah, maybe that's when I lost my spark.
Or maybe if I shifted to a job which isn't so stats driven, I may find enthusiasm for team stuff and improvement again. Just sometimes feel it's been ten years of going through the motions - too many committees against sexual harrassment, discrimination, or striving for continual improvement - it's too easy to fall into the 'oh great one of these courses I can switch off my brain' mindset.
In my case, if it is common sense and I follow it, as much as possible in my real life, eh, I don't know what I am trying to say here, just would be nice to not be cynical for once - my latter year Gen Xness is shouting at me to stop thinking, quite happy cynical thank you very much...
Beer o'clock tomorrow though - big decision of the night is whether to wake up at 5am tomorrow to see Australia v Croatia in the football. Have been a bit slack with my final group game watching, although I did catch the first half of Portugal Mexico last night, good game - damn not scheduling my leave appropriately LOL - have a friend back home in Wellington who every World Cup takes that month off so he doesn't have the distraction of work to contend with at all. Total football indeed :)
More tomorrow, or perhaps Saturday
Pauly
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