Have been thinking of what I want to do with my life, in big picture as in huge territory. I am good with big pictures, but tend to compartmentalize them (if there is such a word of course), for example, big picture with V, big picture at work, big picture with family, big picture with finances, etcetera. I have never really, in the last five years or so, stepped back and thought, wow, this is what I want to do with my life, so have had three thoughts so far.
One, is to help people. In a Medicines sans Frontieres doctor helping eliminate world hunger and disease kind of way, or perhaps an Angelina Jolie clearing landmines kind of way - yes, Angelina had to get a mention in a wish list somewhere LOL. Or just delivering food aid somewhere, or just doing something of value in the developing world, something so totally unselfish like that. I know it sounds a laughable cliche, but that is really what I would like to find myself doing. Maybe not as a doctor though, even though that would be the coolest...
The second thought I had completely butts up against the outgoing adventuresome idea in my the previous paragraph, is to settle with a partner. To have the whole domestic security blanket thing going on, to become a member of a real, functioning community again - and by that I don't mean stray workmates, old drinking buddies or old friends from school. I think I have always been too much of a loner to really settle into a wide group, but the warm comfort feeling I think it would give me, would be good. Or give me cabin fever, one of the two.
Going on from the second thought still, kids would be nice - I think I would be a good father - but, if not kids, then lots of nephews and nieces and stuff perhaps. Feeling very Bilbo Baggins about it all, read the first chapter of Lord of the Rings if you don't know what I mean.
It is just funny to me that the primary two thoughts I have with the what I want to do with my life thing are just so totally opposite to one another. With the helping the world thought I had first, I don't mean to go all Indiana Jones glory hunter about it all, but just quietly toiling away somewhere in the world, doing my bit for human endeavour, would give me warm fuzzies.
The second thought I have is to withdraw from the world, again, quitely toiling away in a remote corner perhaps, or maybe not so remote, but to do that for my own mental wellbeing than thinking of anyone else (apart from possible partner and kids). Wouldn't go so far as to say the thoughts are basically bi-polar to each other, but what is a word that means the same but a lot less?
Third thought is to get famous for writing, to improve how I express myself, to become actually good at it (rather than any sort of fame perhaps). Money would beat fame hands down, in a writing sense at least...
Next time, on the Jerry Springer Show, is Pauly too negative on himself. Geez, I shouldn't allow myself deep thoughts, should I LOL.
Pauly :)
One, is to help people. In a Medicines sans Frontieres doctor helping eliminate world hunger and disease kind of way, or perhaps an Angelina Jolie clearing landmines kind of way - yes, Angelina had to get a mention in a wish list somewhere LOL. Or just delivering food aid somewhere, or just doing something of value in the developing world, something so totally unselfish like that. I know it sounds a laughable cliche, but that is really what I would like to find myself doing. Maybe not as a doctor though, even though that would be the coolest...
The second thought I had completely butts up against the outgoing adventuresome idea in my the previous paragraph, is to settle with a partner. To have the whole domestic security blanket thing going on, to become a member of a real, functioning community again - and by that I don't mean stray workmates, old drinking buddies or old friends from school. I think I have always been too much of a loner to really settle into a wide group, but the warm comfort feeling I think it would give me, would be good. Or give me cabin fever, one of the two.
Going on from the second thought still, kids would be nice - I think I would be a good father - but, if not kids, then lots of nephews and nieces and stuff perhaps. Feeling very Bilbo Baggins about it all, read the first chapter of Lord of the Rings if you don't know what I mean.
It is just funny to me that the primary two thoughts I have with the what I want to do with my life thing are just so totally opposite to one another. With the helping the world thought I had first, I don't mean to go all Indiana Jones glory hunter about it all, but just quietly toiling away somewhere in the world, doing my bit for human endeavour, would give me warm fuzzies.
The second thought I have is to withdraw from the world, again, quitely toiling away in a remote corner perhaps, or maybe not so remote, but to do that for my own mental wellbeing than thinking of anyone else (apart from possible partner and kids). Wouldn't go so far as to say the thoughts are basically bi-polar to each other, but what is a word that means the same but a lot less?
Third thought is to get famous for writing, to improve how I express myself, to become actually good at it (rather than any sort of fame perhaps). Money would beat fame hands down, in a writing sense at least...
Next time, on the Jerry Springer Show, is Pauly too negative on himself. Geez, I shouldn't allow myself deep thoughts, should I LOL.
Pauly :)
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