The first really difficult one, where I attempt to understand my negativities. Hopefully we will get to a positive somewhere here, but we will see.
I hate myself. Automatic Negative Thought that I had this morning. The trigger was not being able to get through to my best friend on the phone. The feeling that she didn't want to talk to me.
The hating myself thing comes from the thought that if my bestie is call screening me then obviously no one else wants to talk to me either, and thus I am isolated, alone, and lonely.
And being lonely terrifies me. I have spent too many years battling that particular demon to want that to continue, especially now I am overall very happy with my niche in life.
So yes hating myself because I feel my friends don't want to talk to me is rooted in my fear of loneliness.
Now, to be positive, the next step is how do we deal with this irrational thought bubble. Because my friends, especially my bestie, love me, I am valued, and I had already spoken to her twice this morning (sleepily).
She was likely just busy with something else. Perhaps a conversation with the children. She loves me, she cares for me,she needs me - she needs the me that doesn't go around automatically self defeating.
I think we got to a positive mindset somewhere in here...
I hate myself. Automatic Negative Thought that I had this morning. The trigger was not being able to get through to my best friend on the phone. The feeling that she didn't want to talk to me.
The hating myself thing comes from the thought that if my bestie is call screening me then obviously no one else wants to talk to me either, and thus I am isolated, alone, and lonely.
And being lonely terrifies me. I have spent too many years battling that particular demon to want that to continue, especially now I am overall very happy with my niche in life.
So yes hating myself because I feel my friends don't want to talk to me is rooted in my fear of loneliness.
Now, to be positive, the next step is how do we deal with this irrational thought bubble. Because my friends, especially my bestie, love me, I am valued, and I had already spoken to her twice this morning (sleepily).
She was likely just busy with something else. Perhaps a conversation with the children. She loves me, she cares for me,she needs me - she needs the me that doesn't go around automatically self defeating.
I think we got to a positive mindset somewhere in here...
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