Was listening to Radiohead on the CD player this morning, Kid A in particular, and was immediately transported back in time to November 2000, and visiting Vancouver Island and H. All these great memories coming back - we won't mention February 2001 in Belfast.
But it got me thinking about how it seems that I almost always seem to be planning something in the future rather than living in the here and now. Apart from my meltdown years of course. I need about a year of recovery after those, and then I am on the look out for the next challenge.
When I was working in Upper Hutt, I was looking forward to travelling to Europe. When I was working in Wellington, my eye was on going over to Canada. Now, working in Brisbane, I am looking toward what to do after paying off my debts sometime in the New Year. It is almost no wonder I have never found a girlfriend living in the same town as I have been...
And then always second guessing myself when waiting for one of those life change things to happen. Or maybe second guessing isn't the right term, perhaps it is self doubt. Do I even trust myself. Hmm. Okay, that was a bit deeper than I really wanted to be LOL.
Am I making the right decisions - am I going to hurt the people I care about - I'm just a guy, who on earth would trust any male of the species (good post feminist generation training there, thanks very much). No doubt I am going to screw up at some point in the future, why bother risking it...
But then I think I can't stay in my rut - what is that Natalie Imbruglia song? Torn?
I don't want to screw up, and I don't want to risk it, but I will go mad if I stay in my rut. Eh, where is that slightly depressive but so well written music of the decade of alienation LOL.
Pauly
But it got me thinking about how it seems that I almost always seem to be planning something in the future rather than living in the here and now. Apart from my meltdown years of course. I need about a year of recovery after those, and then I am on the look out for the next challenge.
When I was working in Upper Hutt, I was looking forward to travelling to Europe. When I was working in Wellington, my eye was on going over to Canada. Now, working in Brisbane, I am looking toward what to do after paying off my debts sometime in the New Year. It is almost no wonder I have never found a girlfriend living in the same town as I have been...
And then always second guessing myself when waiting for one of those life change things to happen. Or maybe second guessing isn't the right term, perhaps it is self doubt. Do I even trust myself. Hmm. Okay, that was a bit deeper than I really wanted to be LOL.
Am I making the right decisions - am I going to hurt the people I care about - I'm just a guy, who on earth would trust any male of the species (good post feminist generation training there, thanks very much). No doubt I am going to screw up at some point in the future, why bother risking it...
But then I think I can't stay in my rut - what is that Natalie Imbruglia song? Torn?
I don't want to screw up, and I don't want to risk it, but I will go mad if I stay in my rut. Eh, where is that slightly depressive but so well written music of the decade of alienation LOL.
Pauly
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