Two Ninety One

Another friend telling me that  I do a brilliant job at supporting people.

Which was nice, as I was second guessing myself on that front a bit during the past month.

Two Ninety

A friend telling me that I cheered her up quicker than Valium.

I think that's a good thing...

Two Eighty Nine

Bumping into her on the commute home, and being invited around for dinner.

Sharing a couple of beers, while she did the gardening, and I 'assisted'.  How many of last summer's positives came from being in the garden with her?  Lots of them, that's how many.

The amazing connection we have.

Two Eighty Eight

The fact that my parents are loving and caring and only want to see me happy in whatever it is I end up doing.

With too many of my friends that does not seem to be or to have been the case.  All the range from personality clashes to full on abuse and/or neglect.  My parents are amazing.

Two Eighty Seven

What a relaxing weekend it has been so far.

Watching about three sessions of the cricket, lazy summer days wiled away in front of the television.  Despite all that has happened to cricket and the rest of the world in the twenty odd years since I discovered it, Test Cricket doesn't change all that much.  Which is a Good Thing.  Though Richie (Benaud) is looking quite Weekend at Bernie's nowadays.

I even found time to do some reading.  Which I haven't done in like forever.  Of course, I had to 'ring in sick' to my social life to afford some time to be lazy, but it has worked out okay for the most part.

Two Eighty Six

A classical music concert.  The first one I have ever actually been to, believe it or not.  Being swept up in the music, an escape from the world for two hours.  My best friend at my side, looking spectacular.

And for some reason, I have a soft spot for Brutalist architecture, such as the Perth Concert Hall.

Subspace, From the Inside Looking Out

Warning - adult content

So, I hit subspace two, maybe even three times last week.  I enjoy getting beaten, in the consensual sense.  It gives me such an endorphin kick.  I am a submissive, and I am a masochist - never quite sure what the order of priority of those two is, but it is what gives me at least half my sexual kicks (must remember to add the adult content button to this blog).

The first time, I was only warming up from a flogger before intending to get caned.  But the flogger started to feel too good, and I have a very hard time saying stop or slow down when I am 'in the zone'.  And it got to a point where I couldn't even contemplate the cane, but keep going with the flogger until I break.  Which I did.  And then asked for another five minutes of attention, while I am on the ragged edge of my emotions.

I hit subspace.  For the first time in months.  That delicious feeling where the pain is exquisitely balanced, you are on the tightrope between too little and too much, and when it stops, you let all the pent up emotion out, your legs are like jelly, and it seems that reality turns ninety degrees.  The point where you can be fully vulnerable, which in the 21st Century First World, seems a rarely visited place.

One of my friends later in the week said that her son was looking for a masochist.  He didn't get it though, it's not about power, it is about trust.  If someone, like that boy, was just looking to bash someone, they are going into this with the wrong ideas and intentions.

Onto the second.  Or as I like to call it, the unexpected bonus round.  Was out at a club with a friend, and about all the warning I got that she had this in mind was her saying 'you're up'.  So yes, the beating itself was nice, and out in public - not that I notice to be honest, when it starts up, I am very much in my own head.  But when I sit down straight after, and take a sip of my beer, that is when the magic truly happens.

I feel like I am sinking into the couch, unable to move.  It's not scary though, just what happens.  Like that scene in Trainspotting where Ewan McGregor falls into his bed.  But again, not in the scary way.  I know how the scary brain freeze feels, having had the odd seizure from time to time.  So I can't move, in that comfortably numb way.  The music seems to get louder, and it seems as if the bassline is at the same speed as my heartbeat.  In fact, the bass IS my heartbeat.

Again, not scary.  Just a thing.  It lasts five, maybe ten minutes, and then it is over.  To that extent at least, and I can't stop grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

And then, the third of last week.  Which I can't quite figure out was sub, or masochist space.  She got me to suck her strap on, which I did with enthusiasm.  Then she put the gimp mask on me, and the cuffs, and the - I think there was some beating in there, but mostly it was an amazing melding of sensation.  When you are sensory deprived, your sense of touch becomes so much more refined.  At least, that was my experience.  Maybe less subspace, maybe more so of sensory overload.  It was amazing.

With all the endorphins raging around my body from THREE play sessions last week, it is four days later since the last one, and I am still exhausted.  But I wouldn't change last week for anything LOL.

Now, to that adult content button...

I Blog, Therefore I Am

Warning - adult content

11pm on a Sunday night, with insomnia.

And all I can think about is blogging.  Not the most positive use of my time before Monday morning hits.  I am not a morning person, just to share a secret between the two of us.

Thinking of blogging.  Thinking of whether to collate all the previous blogs, across blogger, livejournal and tumblr, all together.  But that would pinpoint me, to an almost tee - even though I don't read my previous blogs myself, I have given enough hints, tips and slip ups to be able to identify me easily enough.  If anyone wanted to look for me online.

No, I am thinking I want the fig leaf of anonymity again, because of some things I may write about.  Perhaps my love life, perhaps the other ways I get my endorphins racing.  It's not going to be all Fifty Shades of Perth, because I am thinking of giving free rein to a myriad of topics, but yes, from time to time, there may be descriptions of my submissive, masochistic side.

And that answers the question about how relevant blogs still are, in these days of twitter and facebook and all the rest.  Not that I ever got into twitter - I have tried, about four or five times to make head or tail of the system, but still come away scratching my head after a very short period of time - but with facebook and the rest of social media, there is little privacy or anonymity anymore.

I mean, my personality will come out on this blog, but those finicky details about who I am and the like, less so.  And I do so love to write, when I have a moment.

Or this one may die or go into hibernation quickly as well.  But let's hope not, and let's aim for a post a day.